Yes, you CAN have it both ways - here’s what you need to do...
There are toys all over the floor, your partner is clearly frazzled and has become more pointed in their remarks about, “missing it” and your boss seems to want blood for that career progression you’ve hinted at. What’s wrong with this (supposedly) picture postcard (on the outside) life of yours?
You’re on the verge of burnout, everyone seems to need a piece of you, and nothing you do seems to be enough. Maybe your parents were right when they said, “you can’t have your cake and eat it”. Maybe you do need to choose between a happy home and achieving your career goals. But you don’t want to pull back and play smaller at work; you’re driven and ambitious. And you are a true family person, wrapping your arms protectively around your family and genuinely enjoying those rare, precious moments together.
Sound familiar? Well, you’re in the right place. And you’re far from alone in this late-night Google search. It’s all too easy to get swept along by life, and start rushing headlong at everything, with the things that matter passing you by at a million miles an hour because you just don’t have the space to pause and think. Let’s take a time out right now and talk about why you don’t have to choose between a happy home or success at work. This is how you can have it all and become the CEO of your own life.
The 9 keys to having a happy home and success at work:
You’re here because deep down you believe that balance must be possible - and you’re absolutely right. There’s work to do but with realistic expectations, effective time management, and the support of your personal and professional circles, you can have that full, joyful life you crave. These are the 9 secrets to having that happy home and success at work.
1. Get in tune with the core you
While there are skills to adopt and practices to maintain balance, it’s also crucial to take a step back and reflect on what makes you wonderfully unique. Exploring areas such as your core values, strengths, and limiting beliefs will help ensure you have greater clarity about what you want from a balanced life. This is a valuable step in understanding what’s truly important to you and ensures you are headed in the right direction on your journey of change.
2. Be clear on your goals
These can get very out of kilter when you’ve spent years with that old, “work is all” tunnel vision. It takes reflection, challenging assumptions and some out of the box thinking to uncover your true purpose. These goals are often lying just under the surface and are connected to aspects of your life that you feel may be important to you. Knowing what’s really important to you is the first step to building a plan of action that gives you more of the things you want and care about.
3. Take care of yourself first
I’ll bet my paddleboard that you’ve underestimated how important your own wellbeing is in the past; you’ve probably pushed it aside and, “pushed through”. That, my friend, is partly what’s brought you here: when it comes to a work-life balance that allows for a happy home and success at work, you have to prioritise self-care. Carving out non-negotiable time for exercise, hobbies, or just relaxing is fundamental. Without this, both your work performance and home life can suffer.
4. Set good boundaries
Of course, you were probably thinking, “well, Nick, how the heck am I supposed to prioritise self-care and spend time working through my beliefs, when I already have so much on my plate?” That’s a great question, I’m glad you asked. What we need to do here is establish some boundaries. Got a blurring between work and home life going on, by any chance? That’s not helping. Home working has its perks, but not being able to walk away from work in a really obvious way can create boundary issues. It’s time to clearly draw the line between your work and personal time. This might mean turning off work notifications after a certain hour or dedicating weekends to family activities. Either way, it means setting yourself up to stick to your grand plan.
5. Prioritise and delegate
To help with those boundaries, you’re going to need to offload and trust in others to take on some of what you’ve been shouldering in silence. Identify what's most important in both your work and home life. Delegate tasks, when possible, both at work and at home, to maintain a manageable workload - and reclaim some time and headspace for what really matters.
6. Work smarter, not harder.
When we struggle to manage everything that we feel is important, we need to ask ourselves – ‘Are we working effectively?’. Sometimes, it’s not about the amount of time we spend on activities, but rather the tools and structure we use to ensure that time spent is not wasted. Considering aspects like effective prioritisation, clear goal-setting, and how we structure our week and calendars are crucial. Reflecting on our engagement with digital tools and the myriad of communication tools at our disposal, such as social media, can reveal hidden time sinks. It’s also beneficial to think about the habits that may hold us back, like procrastination and perfectionism, or the pitfalls of multitasking. Regular reviews of our workflow and learning when to say no are strategies that could lead to more efficient and fulfilling workdays. Could understanding and adjusting these behaviours help us work smarter and organise ourselves better?
7. Concentrate on quality time over quantity
Now we’re chiselling out little cracks and gaps in your day, you can bring in more of the good stuff. But, rather than jamming your plate full, focus on the quality of time spent with family (and at work). Short periods of undivided attention can be more valuable than longer periods of distracted or fragmented time. This isn’t necessarily about being able to tally up more hours at home vs. work (or vice versa; it’s about being full present and immersed when you get time in the various areas of your life.
8. Communicate instead of guesstimate
You know what they say happens when we assume things. Look, it’s perfectly normal and natural that you’ve made some pretty bold and outlandish assumptions about what those around you, be it your boss or your spouse, wanted or needed from you. In your mind, you may well have expected them to be able to guess the pressures you are under and what you need from them. That’s not been helping you much. Open communication about workload, stressors, and the need for support is critical. It's important to talk - and reach out - when you're stretched too thin, or when you may need help.
9. Flex and (go with the) flow
When everything feels go-go-go and on the verge of tipping out of control, it can be tempting to grip tighter. There’s a common misconception that a strict schedule or routine is the only way to balance work and home life. I disagree and see how unhelpful such rigidity can be for people who get sucked into an all or nothing approach that keeps them stuck. Believe me, flexibility can be much more effective. Some days will be more work-focused, while others might be more family-oriented and that’s OK. If you have the foundations in place, when everything seems to go sideways, you’ll still be able to keep your cool and remain in the driving seat.
So in short, yes, you can have success at work and a happy home, with a bit of good planning and management of time and priorities, underpinned by reflection on your values, beliefs, and your life purpose. That may all sound a little heavy, but it really doesn’t have to be once you break things down, in the right order.
These 9 keys will make a huge difference to achieving that work-life balance. Having someone guiding you through the keys and on your own path can speed up the whole process and maximise your energy. You don’t want to be wasting your precious, and hard earned, time repeating the same attempts to make the changes you deserve. You want to be making bold changes, with brave accountability and support. I could be that someone for you, guiding you on the journey you want to make.
If you have any questions or if you would like a friendly conversation regarding your situation, please don't hesitate to reach out.
Nick is a Life Coach based in Norfolk, England. Coaching locally and virtually worldwide. Helping his clients achieve success and happiness across their personal lives and careers - www.nickhowellcoaching.com
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